step one Wear: Hey, Napoleon. Just what did you perform history summer once again?Napoleon Dynamite: We told you! I invested they using my brother when you look at the Alaska browse wolverines!Don: Do you capture one?Napoleon Dynamite: Sure, such as for example 50 out-of ’em! They left trying to attack my cousins, what the deuce would you manage in times that way?Don: What kind of weapon do you have fun with?Napoleon Dynamite: An effective freakin’ 12-determine, precisely what do do you really believe?
2 Napoleon Dynamite: [Eating the latest llama scoops out of casserole along side wall] Tina, your fat lard, already been acquire some Restaurants!… Tina, eat. Food. Eat your food!
step three Professor: Your existing skills, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: A week ago, Japanese boffins explaced… put volatile detonators towards the bottom off Lake Loch Ness to help you blow Nessie outside of the liquids. Sir Cort Godfrey of your own Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s regional wizards so you’re able to cast a defensive spell along the lake as well as local owners and all of those who search for brand new peaceful lifetime of your under water friend.
5 Deb: Preciselywhat are your drawing?Napoleon Dynamite: A beneficial liger.Deb: What exactly is caribbean cupid good liger?Napoleon Dynamite: It is virtually the best creature. It is for example a lion and you may a beneficial tiger mixed… bred for the experience for the miracle.
six Napoleon Dynamite: [making reference to Deb’s whole milk] We come across you might be consuming step 1%. Would be the fact ’cause you think you’re body weight? ‘Result in you’re not. You may be consuming entire for those who desired to.
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8 Uncle Rico: How about your girl?Kip: Well, things are bringing very big nowadays. After all, i chat on the internet having, for example, two hours everyday and so i suppose you can say anything try gettin’ rather big.
9 Napoleon Dynamite: Perform some chickens possess higher talons?Farmer: Manage they have exactly what?Napoleon Dynamite: Large talons.Farmer: I don’t know a phrase you only said.
ten [Napoleon keeps snuck tator tots from the lunch place and you can is actually dinner him or her through the category away from his trousers pouch] Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your own tots.Napoleon Dynamite: No, wade get a hold of your own.Randy: Get real, bring me a few of the tots.Napoleon Dynamite: Zero, I am freakin’ hungry! I didn’t can consume *anything* today.Randy: [Kicks the fresh new pocket on tots, smashing her or him] Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Gross! Freakin’ idiot!
11 Napoleon Dynamite: Stay at home and you may eat all the freakin’ chips, Kip.Kip: Napoleon, don’t let yourself be jealous one I have been chatting on line with ladies… *for hours*. Along with, we both be aware that I am degree are a cage combatant.Napoleon Dynamite: Because when, Kip? There is the worst reactions of them all.Kip: Make an effort to struck me, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: Exactly what?Kip: We told you come down here and view what will happen for people who strive to hit me personally.
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fourteen [first lines] Man to the Shuttle: What are you going to perform today, Napoleon?Napoleon Dynamite: Any type of I feel such I wish would. Gosh!
fifteen Bro Rico: Kip, I reckon… you realize a lot from the… online? You ever before get a hold of one thing… such day traveling?Kip: Effortless, We have currently investigated it getting myself.Sibling Rico: Directly on… close to.
16 Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike have you got?Pedro: It’s good sledgehammer.Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You have surprises, pegs… fortunate! You actually eliminate it people nice leaps?Napoleon Dynamite: [Move Pedro moving] You’ve got like around three base regarding air that point.
19 Napoleon Dynamite: [while you are hitch-hiking] So might be you guys such as for example Pedro’s cousins using nice hookups?Cholo Zero. 1: Simon![Mexican jargon to possess “Hell, yeah!”]
20 Buddy Rico: Simply how much your need generate a gamble I can toss a good recreations over them slopes?… Yeah… Advisor woulda place me inside the fourth quarter, i would’ve become state champions. No doubt. Without doubt during my brain.
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21 Kip: Therefore when’s granny coming back?Sibling Rico: I am not sure. Undecided.Napoleon Dynamite: You don’t need to stand here around, we are really not infants.Buddy Rico: Ha-ha! Speak to your Auntie Carolyn.Napoleon Dynamite: Kip is like thirty-two yrs . old.Kip: I really don’t head for people who stand.
twenty two Randy: Hey, promote myself fifty cents and so i can obtain a pop music.Bullied Kid: There isn’t one, Randy.Randy: C’mon, I’ll pay you straight back.Bullied Son: I don’t have…[Randy grabs your by straight back of one’s shoulder and begins taking top to bottom with it] Randy: I shall do this to you personally…Bullied Boy: Don’t! Avoid! End! Never! Ow. Right here, here.[Randy grabs the money and you can strolls away] Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon, having been watching, strolls around a child] How’s your own shoulder?Bullied Boy: Stings.Napoleon Dynamite: Which is also crappy.[Napoleon now offers your a good boondoggle trick-chain] Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro provides their safety.[Move next scene – brand new bullied boy try providing their bike out-of a rack and you will Randy guides right up] Randy: Hello, allow me to acquire your own bicycle.Bullied Man: Zero.Randy: C’mon, I am going to leave you specific chips.Bullied Guy: Zero![They always strive over the bike] Cholo Zero. step one, Cholo #2: [push up inside their low-rider modifiable, who’s got “Vote 4 Pedro” decorated on the doorway. Brand new rider shakes his head ‘no’ which have a threatening search with the their face. Randy gets up-and guides from the child. The new bullied man grins]
23 Kip: LaFawnduh is actually *the* ideal thing who’s got actually ever happened to me. I am a hundred% positive she’s my personal true love. Don’t get worried Napoleon, I’m sure there was a babe online for your requirements too. Serenity aside.
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twenty-five [Kip try singing so you’re able to Lafawnduh once they was pronounced husband and you will wife] Kip: Why do you adore me? How come you prefer myself? Always and you will forever… We satisfied when you look at the an excellent chatroom, today all of our like can be fully bloom… Yes the web is great, you, you make my salivate… I love technical, however up to your, you will find… But I Nonetheless like tech… Constantly and you will permanently. Our love feels like a head off doves, traveling around eden more than… always and permanently, constantly and forever… How come you want myself? So why do you like myself? Usually and permanently…
twenty-six Kip: [Napoleon possess Kip inside the an excellent sleeper-hold] Ow! Ah geez!Napoleon Dynamite: What the crap try Uncle Rico doin’ within my girlfriend’s home?Kip: Napoleon, let go of myself! I think you happen to be bruisin’ my neck animal meat!Napoleon Dynamite: Okay![Napoleon launches Kip] Napoleon Dynamite: What on earth are you men doin’? Tryin’ so you’re able to damage living and make me personally seem like a freakin’ idiot?Kip: I am away makin’ specific nice moola that have Sibling Rico. Geez, In my opinion you ripped my mole away from.Napoleon Dynamite: I did so?Kip: Yeah, is it hemorrhaging?Napoleon Dynamite: Slightly.
twenty-seven Pedro: Do you consider individuals will choose personally?Napoleon Dynamite: Hell yes! I would vote for you.Pedro: Such as for example preciselywhat are my personal enjoy?Napoleon Dynamite: Better, you have a sweet bicycle. And you are good during the hooking up that have girls. As well as you happen to be like the simply man at school who’s got a beneficial beard.



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