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I wish so much I had seen this article years ago. My ex boyfriend, who I dated for 3 years, displayed every single textbook sign of BPD. Only recently after reading up on it does it click that he must have had it. It was the most horrible, up and down chaotic relationship I have ever been involved in. So many times I tried to break up with him and he would threaten suicide, follow me home, scream outside my window, neighbors always threatening to call cops. And he made me feel so GUILTY for leaving him.
I love this woman very much, I simply don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve been to DBT therapy, and she’s on medication. I’m seriously at my wits end wondering if “no contact” would be the healthiest solution. Incredible.Im comming out of a 6 month lover relationship. She started warning me that she has a problem with herself that affects relationships in her life. She once told me her mother stated she feels sorry for the man that will one day be with her.
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The people I love mean so much to me that I hate it when we get into fights. After yelling at them, I find myself running off and crying because the entire argument ever happened. I have a friend who is drifting away from me and losing her makes me so sad and guilty that I sometimes snapcougars.com feel suicidal. I have to often talk to my therapist to keep me from hating myself every time I wake up. I am much better at controlling my anger but I feel like these misinterpretations will lead people thinking things about others with BPD that are generalized and not always true.
The weekend together was exhausting with her frequent mood shifts, but i found that body massages calm her down and then she is immediately horny and dtf. She makes it fairly obvious she wants the guy to be the leader of the relationship and she prefers to be subordinate. Borderlines come in many different flavors. After doing me she cleaned my house, detailed my car and was a non stop ball of energy and emotions. They can be exhausting but the attraction to a wild unpredictable female is understandable. Now she keeps saying I have changed and she feels like I love her less or not at all.
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Sometimes I go there just to trigger myself. Your partner’s sensitivity is frequently caused by BPD. Forgetting this and blaming yourself for your partner’s behavior can be harmful to your mental health as well as their treatment. You have no influence over the behavior or actions of another person. A person with BPD does not have the same knowledge of emotions and does not have the necessary coping mechanisms to manage them effectively. You must have a realistic awareness of your partner’s conduct and your role as a “caretaker” in his life.
It was followed by a barrage of abusive texts so I blocked him. I’m used to the pattern of abuse and threats and just couldn’t do it again. He had a brief spell in the psych ward but left because i couldn’t get cigarettes to him til after i finished work which apparently meant i didn’t care about him. Like many others, the good times have been incredible, then he will suddenly end it between us, no argument, prompt (that I’m ever aware of), nothing.
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Using a relationship to solve problems is how a lot of us ended up here. Many of us are deeply wounded and would be better served to take the time to heal and learn about ourselves. Providing too much information to a potential partner, too soon in a relationship, is a classic example of bad boundaries.
